My fellow Americans. You might remember that my predecessor, Donald Trump, got into trouble right off the bat at his Inauguration, claiming that he had more attendees than Barack Obama did. Well obviously we have far fewer people here today than at either of their inaugurations. Of course that’s due to COVID-19.
Here’s another admission. Although I criticized President Trump relentlessly for allegedly not handling the pandemic very well, he actually did a pretty good job. I doubt whether I or anyone else could have done much better. For example, it’s amazing how he was able to get government and the private sector to cooperate in developing a vaccine so quickly. President Trump got it done within a year, when many, including myself, predicted it would take years.
So thank you, President Trump. That being said, it’s my commitment to speed up the process of getting the vaccine into as many arms as possible as quickly as possible to save lives.
Speaking of Donald Trump, he and I said a lot of negative things about each other during the course of our recent campaign for the presidency. And in reaction to the outrageous attack on our nation’s Capitol recently, the House of Representatives impeached President Trump, for a second time, and he’s now facing another trial in the Senate. I am hereby calling on my Democratic colleagues, Nancy Pelosi and Chuck Schumer, to dismiss this impeachment matter immediately. All it will do is further divide us, at a time when we need to unify this nation.
Instead, a bipartisan commission should fully investigate what happened at the Capitol and what should be done to prevent something like that from ever happening again. And while we’re at it, we must fully review and reform irregular election practices which allegedly took place in a number of states this past election cycle. I’m confident that I won the election fair and square, but I realize there are millions of Americans who believe otherwise. Election integrity must be a priority.
Now let me touch on a few issues that came up during the course of the campaign. The Green New Deal for example. I know I was rather coy about whether I supported it or not. AOC and her crowd think I’ve committed to it. And I guess I kind of did, but I needed to hold onto my progressive supporters. Well, I’m President now. And the Green New Deal is, well it’s nuts. No cars, no planes, no meat… In the words of President George H.W. Bush – I guess it was actually Dana Carvey playing Bush on Saturday Night Live, “not gonna do it.”
On immigration, I know, we Democrats have criticized President Trump’s wall for four years now. We got a lot of political mileage with our base attacking it. But you know what? The wall has actually worked. So rather than cut off funding, or even tearing it down, I’m going to continue to build it. After all, there have been recent news stories indicating more caravans are already forming in Central America, and will soon be on their way to illegally enter at our southern border. It’s my job now to protect this country, and the American jobs which would be undermined by such illegal entries. Let’s just say my thinking is evolving on immigration.
OK, another long word, like immigration, that begins with an “I”, infrastructure. I am determined to get a bill from Congress onto my desk, which will dramatically improve our highways, bridges, airports, electric grid, you name it. It’s long overdue. And I’m going to insist that we do something that’s seldom done in Washington nowadays – we’re going to actually pay for it. We are not going to merely put the cost of it onto our children and grandchildren.
And speaking of spending, it’s time we committed to balancing the budget. A good step towards accomplishing that would be passing a Balanced Budget Amendment. I know for a fact that Congressman Steve Chabot has already introduced the Balanced Budget Amendment in the House, as he did in the last Congress, and I would urge his colleagues, both Republicans and Democrats, to support it.
Just as I intend to support funding for the replacement of the Brent Spence Bridge in Congressman Chabot‘s district in the infrastructure bill. And by the way, it’s Steve Chabot’s birthday this Friday, January 22nd, so please join me in singing happy birth…
(It was at this point I woke up from what I thought had been a pretty good speech.)
Finally, you may be interested in reading the Inaugural Address I wrote for President Trump four years ago.
See you next week!